A recent issue of Newsweek (April 20) provided a very moving account of the lives of two pastors who ministered to the grieving during the time of the Columbine High School massacre ten years ago. This is “the rest of the story,” or at least a significant part of it. Christians should pay attention to this story.
The two pastors cited in the article could not be more different. One, the Rev. Don Marxhausen (at the left below), is a Lutheran (ELCA) minister who is described by the article as “liberal-minded.” The other, Rev. George Kirsten (at the right below), is the senior pastor at West Bowles Community Church, an independent evangelical congregation. The article notes that these two pastors, from differing ends of a theological spectrum, are “still haunted by the school massacre.” This is an understatement to say the least.
Marxhausen arrived in Littleton in 1990 and built St. Philip Lutheran Church into a thriving, mainline congregation with more than 1,000 members. He believes in a loving, forgiving God and “nuances” approaches to questions of salvation. When Tom Klebold, the father of one of the two shooters, asked Rev. Marxhausen to conduct a funeral service for his son Dylan he agreed. He says he did so because he believed that Dylan’s parents deserved to hear of the grace of God. According to news accounts at the time Marxhausen said to the Klebold’s, in his funeral sermon, “God, who knows about suffering and pain and loss, wants to reach out to you.” As he preached Marxhausen says he could see Dylan’s body in an open coffin with a small mountain of beanie babies piled around his head to cover the self-administered gun shot wound. It was only four days after the shooting. Hatred for Klebold was high and remained high for years to follow.
Two days after the service that Marxhuasen conducted for the Klebold family Rev. George Kirsten conducted the funeral of Cassie Bernall, a junior at Coumbine. Her story would later become a best-selling book written by her mother, titled She Said Yes. (I read the book with deep interest when it came out.) More than 2,500 people flooded the sanctuary at the West Bowles church for Cassie's funeral. The television cameras were also there to show the world. Pastor Kirsten proclaimed that Cassie Bernall was a martyr. But during the last ten years Kirsten has been routinely attacked for exploiting Cassie’s story. A Navy pilot in Vietnam Kirsten knew horrors but he soon found out that none compared to Columbine.
Columbine has become a national symbol—a dark day in our collective memory that few of us will ever forget. Newsweek adds, “Littleton became ground zero for the kind of white, evangelical Christianity that was sweeping the country at the time.” (I find that a bit offensive but it is not entirely wrong, at least from the perspective of cultural reality.) Classmates sought to make sense of this tragedy but pastors had no time to interpret the issues cautiously. Each had to deal with things that came at them day after day after day. Ten years later, these two pastors represent the price that many paid following Columbine. Though very different in theology and personality these two ministers struggle powerfully with Columbine to this very day.
Marxhausen, now 70, became intensely frustrated with evangelicals who treated the tragedy as an opportunity to bring people to Jesus. He was especially bothered by Franklin Graham’s Sunday crusade that drew 70,000 to a parking lot. What finished Marxhausen’s ministry in Littleton, however, was not his reaction to the evangelicals but his continuing attempts to help the Klebold family. He described the parents of Dylan Klebold, to the Denver Post, as “the loneliest people on the planet.” He says that in time he became toxic to his congregation because of his public profile. He took a three-month sabbatical. When he returned in September he said “it was clear this wasn’t my church anymore.” Today he lives south of Littleton with his wife. He ministers to a tiny, rural congregation in Idaho Springs, a mountain community.
Kirsten was in Israel the day the shootings happened. He came home immediately. He had performed the marriage of Misty and Brad Bernall in 1980 and had helped guide Cassie through a well-known (because of the book) dark and rebellious time. The West Bowles congregation filled the home of the Bernall in the weeks that followed. Kirsten was there to grieve and help his people as best he could. He says, “What I remember most is the tremendous barrage of very hurting people.”
Kirsten came to Denver in 1974 to attend Denver Seminary. He began West Bowles, as a non-denominational church, in the 1980s. Kirsten told Newsweek, “We rely heavily on scripture and on the premise that Christ is the ultimate forgiver, the ultimate lover, and that only through him can we know the Lord.”
Cassie’s story became legend at West Bowles. But over time questions about her story sprang up. The original version was that Klebold had asked her if she believed in God and when she said yes he then shot her. But another version, which seems right, soon came from a student who said that Klebold asked her the same question and when she said yes she was allowed to live. The father of a boy who died that day believes that propagating the Cassie “legend” exploits the grief of other parents whose kids also died. But the West Bowles people still defend the Cassie story. Kirsten says, “People were missing the big point. She said yes with her life. So to have the entire credibility of it washed away, that hurt.”
But the more Kirsten was removed from the tragedy the more his life began to crack under the stress. He had survived a helicopter crash in Vietnam and saw fellow crew members burned alive on the USS Enterprise. He says, “I pushed Marxhausen’s comments ironically sum up what both men feel ten years later. “I learned how fear can take hold of a community. You have to be prepared to hurt when you go into the ministry. But I never thought it would hurt that much.
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I agree that we spend far too little time caring for and praying for our pastors. I know that intersession may not have prevented the burnout and loss that these pastors faced, but if they are like most pastors in the US they do not have anyone that is regularly interceding for them.
I recently read Anne Jackson’s book “Mad Church Disease” on pastoral burnout. It doesn’t have all the answers but it is a start in a field that is way too sparse.
I agree with Adam that regular, persistent prayer is a critical component in our support for people and pastors who have been traumatized.
I have seen God bring “beauty for ashes” out of some gut wrenching tragedies and I join others who are praying for these pastors now that they have read their story.
We would also do well to consider and meditate on the lesson of Job’s friends, who also did a poor job of listening and supporting their friend Job – a man who needed pat answers and lectures like he needed a hole in the head.
Very profound post.
Thank you.
Comfort one another with the comfort you’ve been comforted. . . . To be sure, pastors by necessity must go through deep things to minister this to their congregation. That being said we need more men like you who are willing to do the same for pastors. Your calling and gifts are rare and unique. . . . I pray that God would be pleased to cultivate more such leaders so that it’s rarity would soon fade.