Author Dick Wills in his book Waking to God’s Dream (Abingdon, 1999) titles chapter four: “Trusting God Enough Not to Be Loved by Everybody.” I need that particular kind of faith in God’s love more than most people. I am a fairly private person thus even disagreements on my blogs can still give me a bad day. I do need to get over this since I have chosen a public lifestyle, or at least I believe I was called to one. And writing is a deep joy to me that I look forward to every day. But with it comes wide ranging disagreement and dissenting opinions.
I sometime wonder if I write, or even speak, to gain approval and some kind of love. Maybe there is something in me that is so self-centered that I need to hear people say: “I like it (you).” Putting up with the “I don’t like it (you)” response is part of the territory so I try to endure it in order to get the strokes I want. I am sure there is some of this in most of us but there is no justification for it in a mature Christian.
What convinces me to press on with this calling every day is that I have been given a stewardship from God. This stewardship includes teaching, preaching and writing. I need to use that stewardship responsibly but use it I must. I know I will fail but this is no excuse for continuing. I also realize that failure can be a part of the process for how God uses my gift and my life to bring him glory. So, I am learning to “trust God enough to not be loved by everybody” but it is sure taking a long time to do this, to be perfectly honest. Maybe certain kinds of extroverts find this much easier than introverts.